How is it that one minute I think my husband is an annoying idiot and the next I couldn’t love him anymore?

Due to the fact I’m breast feeding Marlowe I’m the one who has to pull the night shifts of parenting. At almost 7 months old he’s still feeding a lot during the night so I’m pretty damn tired most of the time. Most days I cope and get through whichever way I can without a grumble, but some days I just lose my s**t and the husband usually is my number one target!
There is something about seeing my husband all snuggled up in the duvet, snoring his head off that drives me crackers. Even a crying baby and me turning the light on and changing Marlowe’s nappy doesn’t disturb the husband one bit. Even when I accidentally (on purpose) drop a large tub of sudocrem from a height onto him….nope nothing!
99% of the time once I’ve had my first coffee of the morning, I’ve forgotten the rubbish night sleep I’ve had and I’m good to go and full of the joys of spring.
That 1% of the time though I’m like a bulldog chewing a wasp and the husband is the worst person in the world for actually getting a good night sleep.
Today was one of those days, and having been up since 4:30 am, by the time the husband and Matilda get up I’m already in a foul mood.
Matilda and I fell out pretty quickly over the fact it’s freezing cold and she didn’t want to wear tights to school.
Her reason for this is she wanted to show her best friend her plaster on her knee. A plaster the size of a tea towel that she insisted I put on her to cover her minuscule graze.
I gave in and put said plaster on her knee as she refused to get in the bath without it, as dipping her teeny tiny graze in the water seemed to provoke some kind of exorcist reaction in her.
Anyway after five minutes of shouting over ‘tights gate’ she calmed down and drew me a lovely picture.
The husband was still getting the cold shoulder and I get even more annoyed that every morning before work he gets a hot shower, breakfast, cup of tea and then spends 20 minutes in the bathroom with the door closed in utter peace. I can’t do anything without Matilda trailing behind me with the word ‘mum’ being uttered out of her mouth every 2 seconds and I haven’t closed the bathroom door without being disturbed in over 4 years.
The husband is a pretty grumpy git in the mornings, I’ve no idea why after the tranquil sleep he has.
However as soon as he has his work shoes and bag on and flask in hand he turns into Mary bloody Poppins. He kisses us all, wishes us a lovely day and practically skips out of the door.
This morning I grumbled a goodbye to him whilst muttering under my breath what an idiot he was.
A couple of hours later I hear him creep back in the door with a grin on his face and a hot coffee in his hand just for me. There you go; idiot to best husband ever in a second.
He may be rubbish with words and a deep sleeper but he knows when I’ve had a tough night and he knows exactly how to fix it. This is why I love the grumpy sod so much.
Caffeine inhaled, smile on my face and I’m back to feeling so blessed for everything I have.

Why does everybody say this? When I was pregnant with Marlowe they all said confidently ‘this one will sleep better’, ‘you know what you’re doing this time and second babies always sleep well” I even remember laughing with the husband saying ‘well this one can’t be worse than Matilda was, it’s impossible’…..well believe me it’s possible. 

Anyone that knows me will be very aware that Matilda was a rotten sleeper as a baby. To be fair most people that don’t know me will also know Matilda was a sleep thief. For some reason I would tell everyone that even made eye contact with me that Matilda wouldn’t sleep. The postman, my neighbour’s, the window cleaner and even Kay at the supermarket check out would know about my daughter’s sleep habits. Maybe it was to excuse the fact I looked like I had been embracing the caveman beauty regimen for 60 days (by the way if you’ve never heard about this check it out it’s an interesting read!) or because I was so exhausted I literally had only three phrases in response to conversation. The other two being ‘yes I do realise I’ve answered the door yet again in my pyjamas past midday and indeed they are the same pyjamas I was wearing this time last week’ and ‘yes Kay this is the 5th day in a row I’ve purchased those delicious little baked tarts with the plastic cherry on the top that are neatly packaged into a handy pack of 6 and yes that does mean I’ve eaten 30 of those scrummy Mr. K’s since Monday. 

Anyhoo fast forward 4 years and Matilda I’m pleased to say is now a fantastic sleeper and usually has to be dragged out of bed. I say dragged, but she’s in a high cabin bed so it actually resembles a highly strategic manoeuvre akin to peeling a sloth from its branch, although I say sloth, at 7 am it feels like you’re carrying a baby elephant…in the dark…and you had wished you had packed away the lego from the floor the previous night! 

So the point of this tirade is second babies don’t sleep better not in my case anyway, so I shall plough on wearing my pungent pyjamas and scoffing my way through baked goods and I will look forward to when I have to drag the next baby elephant out of bed. 

Amy, Matilda and Marlowe x